At Least I Have the Ocean

Something is missing
Maybe it's merely that I'm losing my marbles
or misplacing them
But is misplacing the same thing as losing?
For something misplaced
seems bound to be found again
But when something is lost
sometimes it feels as though it is gone
forever.

It's not there
each touch is different, and new,
and unfamiliar
How can you come so close to what he is
and yet fall so far from what he and I became?
The portrait we've painted pales in comparison.

I have yet to memorize
the colors in your eyes
and if they were more like his
maybe I would want to
Lately I've found
that love is too much to ask for
and no one understands it's all I need.

But at least I have the ocean
so when everything else is falling away,
and falling apart, and falling from me,
the crashing of the waves
can at least somewhat bring me to my senses,
and remind me that someday
I will find
what I am looking for.

-kb