feeling sorry for myself

they all think we're crazy
everybody
i can hear it in their voices
as they get quieter, with longer pauses
and sighs
and the words
"just take it a day at a time"
becomes a justifying chant
which shouldn't affect me so much

distance is outstretched for miles and miles
mimicking the lengthy patterns on a quilt
a quilt my mother crafts so creatively
and she worries for me so carefully
her mouth takes shape like the others
everybody
i hate the quilted distance

normal is something i cannot
say that i've experienced
consistency is far from my reaching
limbo is my life's favorite game
but my minds worst nightmare
and tolls are constantly taken
but i wish it was simply money they were taking
rather than sanity

i'd like one round of friendship please
but i take my friendship without the use of technology
and with a side of realism
these words are escaping me without a thought
for my brain aches with illness that can be cured
with time
but it's my heart i'm worried about
for it flutters much too often
for you


-bw